paramorelove360

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Love you all!

She kind of looks traumatized!!!!

Josh POV:

Why does everything have to be so gosh darn hard? You think that when you find your soulmate, everything will be great and easygoing from then on, but no, it's never that way. Life could never be that easy.

Earlier today, I proposed to the woman I love and she said no. Not because she didn't love me, but because she wanted to take things slow because what we have is "special." If it was so special, couldn't we just make it official?

I was standing by the door to our bedroom. Watching Hayley sleep is such a peaceful thing. I'm not trying to be a creeper or anything. Maybe it's just because she isn't running that mouth of hers. Just kidding. Her body was tangled in the sheets and she was spread all over the bed. The advantage of not having me there. Her mouth was open and she sighed every so often. She had what looked like a happy expression on her face. If she was happy, then so was I.

I really wanted to crawl into bed beside her, but I couldn't just yet. I needed to ask her something that i hadn't gotten a chance to earlier, but i really didn't want to wake her. Oh well, I would have to if I wanted peace in my mind. I walked over as quietly as possible and sat down on the edge of the bed. my fingertips traced her collarbone lightly until I bent down to kiss her neck.

"MHMMMM," came a grumble below me. I couldn't help, but giggle. "What?" a whiney voice asked me desperatly.

"Sorry to wake you, but i needed to ask you something," I said whispering so my voice wouldn't startle her.

She sat up quickly and her droopy eyes opened up wide. Her hand brushed my cheek. "What is it? Is something bothering you?" she asked.

"I love you so much," I whispered and then sighed.

"I do too. What is this leading to Josh? Are you going to propose again beause the answer is no, at least for now."

"I know that and that's not what i wanted to ask. I wanted to ask you if you thought we have a chance of being together forever this time." I stated.

"I don't think Josh. I know. If you love me as much as I love you, then nothing will ever come between us again. I promise," she said as she cupped my chin in her hands to hold my gaze.

"Alright. I'm sorry about that. I'm just scared because i don't think I could ever bear to lose you again," I said, tears starting to brim in my eyes.

"You've won this prize forever," she said as she leaned in to kiss me. As our lips touched, the tears flowed onto my cheeks and I realized they were now mixing with hers. I layed down next to her and we just kissed for awhile until we fell asleep in each other's arms.

Well, i didn't update as soon as I said i would, but here is the next installment. I thought this chapter wasn't so good, sort of just a filler, but don't worry, I have an idea for the next chapter. I'm not exactly sure how long this story will go on, so just bear with me. Comments are always appreciated! I love all of your feedback! It gets my creative juices flowing. Also sorry this is so short, but yeah!

IGNORANCE

if i'm a bad person, you don't like me
i guess i'll go, make my own way
it's a circle
a mean cycle
i can't excite you anymore
where's your gavel? your jury?
what's my offense this time?
you're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
well sentence me to another life.

don't wanna hear your sad songs
i don't wanna feel your pain
when you swear it's all my fault
cause you know we're not the same
oh we're not the same
the friends who stuck together
we wrote our names in blood
but i guess you can't accept that the change is good
it's good

you treat me just like another stranger
well it's nice to meet you sir
i guess i'll go
i best be on my way out

ignorance is your new best friend

this is the best thing that could've happened
any longer and i wouldn't have made it
it's not a war no, it's not a rapture
i'm just a person but you can't take it
the same tricks that once fooled me
they won't get you anywhere
i'm not the same kid from your memory
now i can fend for myself

don't wanna hear your sad songs
i don't wanna feel your pain
when you swear it's all my fault
cause you know we're not the same
oh we're not the same
we used to stick together
we wrote our names in blood
but i guess you can't accept that the change is good
it's good


you treat me just like another stranger
well it's nice to meet you sir
i guess i'll go
i best be on my way out

ignorance is your new best friend

you treat me just like another stranger
well it's nice to meet you sir
i guess i'll go
i best be on my way out

They kind of sound like they are for Josh! If so, that's so sad! Tell me what you think about who they are for!

I know, I haven't updated in like forever, but I hope to make it up to you all with this chapter. If you want to read it great and I always love and appreciate your comments. They make me feel loved!!

Will you marry me?

Hayley's POV:

Did he just ask me if I wanted to marry him? I think he did. There he is right in front of you on his knee with a beautiful diamond and you have to go and do something terrible.

"No Josh, I won't," his body posture instantly slumped and his eyes welled up with tears that he tried so hard to hide. "Josh," I said lifting his chin up with my hand. "I love you so much, but I cannot get into that right now, not yet. What we have is special and I want to make sure that it will last forever. I need you in my life and I really just want to take things slow."

"I understand, but I already love you so much so I figured, what else is there to do?" he said still looking like he truly didn't fully understand.

"We've had a serious friendship crisis this past year with this whole third album and the whole entire Chad thing. I want to take things slow and that's final!" I dropped his hands and got up off the couch. I walked into "our" bedroom and fell to the floor crying remebering a few months ago in the recording studio.

Flashback:

I walked into Rob Cavello's studio 20 minutes late and I knew already that there was going to be some serious hell to pay from the guys.

"Where have you been? Today was your day to do afternoon recording. Instead I'm here banging my heart out filling your time!" zac screamed while pounding madly at the drums.

I shot him an apologetic smile and ran into the mixing room. Josh was sitting in the room all by himself strumming to his favorite acoustic guitar. It was the one I had given him.

"Hey sorry I'm so late, but hey, it's always me," I said trying to crack a joke. He wasn't smiling and he was playing a painful tune.

"What were you doing?" he asked looking up.

That was what I didn't want to tell him. I was video chatting with Chad and lost track of time. You could blame love I guess. Well Chad and Josh don't really get along. Josh tries to be civil, but Chad is just overprotective and almost jealous when it came to the fact that Josh and I had history. He was slowly tearing me away from Josh and and until now, I don't think I minded. Josh and I barely ever talk anymore and when we do, we end up in an arguement.

"Well," I really didn't want to lie to him, "I was chatting with Chad online and I must have failed to watch the time," I said with a shy smile.

"Well next time, focus on the record and not your stupid boyfriend," Josh replied hatefully.

That was it. Oh no, we were going to argue. "How dare you call my boyfriend stupid. He is really important to me!" I shouted.

"So he's more important then Paramore, this record and more importantly, your friends?" Josh questioned me with accusing eyes.

"Did I say that because I don't think I did?" I was really angry now.

"Well it doesn't matter what you think anymore because all you ever think about is him now!" he shouted.

Tears were spilling on to my cheeks now. "How could you say that? That was really hurtful Josh," I whimpered.

"Look I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings, but you really need to focus on this record. The fans are counting on us," he said with a solemn face.

Alright, here it was. I was just about to do something that I would regret forever. "No Josh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry that I broke up with you. I'm sorry that you just decided to let me go too and not fight back. I'm sorry that Chad and I both hate you and most importantly I'm sorry that you so pathetically still have feelings for me. Wow, it must suck to be you!"

"That's impossible. I could never have feelings for you. Wait, I take that back. Yes, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER so maybe it would be best for the both of us if I just left the band so you could be happy without me," and with that, he stalked out of the room, tears flowing like the Nile River.

"Wait Josh, come back! I didn't mean any of it. Please!" My shouts did not work. He just kept on walking until he was out the door and into the California sun.

End Flashback:

Wow. Now I look back to that and think how could we have survived this. I know. Our thriving love and passion for each other.  I need to let him know just how much I love him.

I unlocked the door to our bedroom and noticed that he was in the kitchen, leaning over the counter. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him.

"I love you," I whispered sweetly in his ear.

He turned around and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "I sure do hope so because I love you more than you could ever imagine." Now all that was left for me to do was to think of what to say about the marriage issue.

WHOO! I updated. I think you'll have another one sometime this weekend. I forgot how much fun I was having while writing this. Comments are appreciated and also I would like to hear what you thought about the flashback. I don't think it lived up to its full potenial, but hey maybe that's just author bashing!

Go to spin.com and search paramore. What you might hear may shock you. It is under "If I Didn't Love You, I Would Kill You" It gets very real and personal with Hayley and how the band was going to break up, but instead channeled hurt and jealousy into a brand spankin new album out in September! WHOOO!

Ok. I'm sick and I have nothing better to do so here is chapter ten and I'm sorry that I haven't updated sooner, but honestly, I have a freakin busy life, so yeah!

I like this picture!!!

Hayley's POV:

The sun was blazing on my bare back and I got this uncomfortable feeling. This was not my bed and the man next to me was certainly not my fiancee. Oh, no. I'm in big trouble. Josh was still sound asleep, but I'm pretty sure Chad wouldn't be because he is a morning person. I can't lie to him. I'm going to have to tell him the truth. The truth and nothing, but the truth. I was in love with Josh and last night sealed the deal. I got up quickly and dressed in a daze. I didn't want to wake Josh, but as soon as I was about to walk out of the bedroom, (yes, we made it that far) Josh woke up.

"Good morning," he said while rubbing his eyes.

"Hi," I replied back in a squeaky tone.

"Where are you going? Aren't we gonna talk about what just happened?" he asked.

"There's nothing to talk about. I need to tell Chad the truth so that is what i'm going to do. We both know that I am coming back to you anyways," I replied.

"You are?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes Josh, I'm never going to leave you again. I promise. I'm just going to break that right now so I can go break a promise I made to somebody else," and with that, I walked out the door.

I drove back to Chad and my apartment with tears in my eyes. I loved Josh and not Chad, but still, I don't want to hurt him. He's been nothing, but good to me and this is how I repay him. Wow, I suck. I still want to be his friend, but i wouldn't blame him if he didn't take me up on that offer.

I pulled into my space and walked slowly inside. I took the stairs instead of the elevator just to gather my thoughts and prepare for the brewing storm. I got to the door, pulled out my keys and walked inside.

Chad was sitting at the counter playing with a bowl of oatmeal, twirling the spoon in the guky mush.

"Hey," he said lifelessly.

"Hi," I replied.

"So I guess this is it huh? We're done right?" he asked as he turned the stool around to face me. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were tear-stained. I nodded my head slowly and he looked down at his feet.

"You know I love you right?" he said looking up again.

"I know. I love you too just not in that way," I said truthfully.

"I wish you would have told me sooner so i could have saved you the trouble of saying yes to something you didn't want," he stated.

"Wait. What? Are you blaming yourself?" I asked shocked.

Tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm sorry that I'm not him. I'm sorry i couldn't be what he is to you."

I ran over and gave him a hug. "No you aren't him, but you're Chad and i really like Chad. Chad is a really great friend of mine and Chad needs to go give this ring to a girl who really deserves it," I said as i pulled the ring off my finger and placed it into his palm.

"I'm so sorry, but I owe you millions for understanding. Thank you so much for everything," I said hugging him tighter.

"No problem. Now go get him tiger," Chad said as I raced out the door and over to Josh's. I was going to have get my stuff from Chad's later and then i would move in with Josh.

Josh's POV:

Since Hayley left, I was pacing all nervous in my apartment. I was scared of Chad's reaction, I mean who wants to find out that your girlfriend's best friend is actually banging her? I was also worried about the thing that was in my pocket. Geez, how would she react?

"Josh!" she yelled exasperated as she walked through the door and threw her arms around my neck.

"How did it go?" I asked waiting for the story.

"Amazingly. Chad took it suprisingly well. He is just superb, but I guess I need a place to live so I was figuring i would get my stuff later and move in here with you?" she said giving me a curious glare.

"That's good that Chad took it well and of course, you can move in with me," I said all smug. "I have something I need to ask you so take a seat on the couch kay?" I asked.

She sat down. "Shoot."

I got down on one knee right in front of her and fished in my pocket. I found the ring and opened the box. Her face was shocked, but she seemed happy. Tears filled her eyes. "Hayley Nichole Williams, you are the greatest best friend a guy could ever ask for so now will you be the greatest wife a guy could ask for? Will you marry me?"

>OMG!! He proposed. I wonder what she will say? Only time will tell! Comments always get the creative juices flowing so please I would love some feedback. Thanks for reading this junk guys!

NEW CHAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!

It's blurry, but Hayley looks really pretty so i couldn't resist.

Hayley's POV:

A pair of lips came crashing down on to mine and they certainly weren't my fiance's...

I couldn't respond. I was frozen. I was shocked, but I had this weird tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach. I haven't had that feeling since we broke up. Chad never gave me this feeling. I wanted it to last so the next thing I knew I was kissing back with such force I didn't know I had in me. It was wrong, but it felt so right. Josh has his hands on my face and I started pulling at his hair, wanting him closer and then my cellphone went off. We both froze and I peeled my lips from Josh's trying hard to conceal my pout. I looked at the screen. Chad. Of course I had to answer so I lifted up my finger to tell Josh to hold on without meeting his gaze.

"Hello," I said trying hard not to sound gruff or smug.

"Look baby, I said some mean things earlier and I was wondering when you were going to come home so I could make it up to you because honey, I don't want you to be mad still," Chad said in sicky sweet voice.

"I'll be home in a jiffy," I stuttered. How could I be mad? Out of the two of us, he's gonna be the mad one if he ever finds out what I was just doing.

"Ok. See you soon and baby, I love you," and he hung up.

"So you kiss me and then you run back to your boyfriend?" Josh asked.

"Woah, Woah, Woah. You kissed me and he is not my boyfriend he is my fiance," I pointed out.

"Even better and you kissed back and there's no denying you liked it," he said flashing me accusing eyes.

"Whatever Josh. I have to go so if you could not kill yourself while I'm gone, that would be super," I said starting to get up. A hand grabbed my wrist and lips were up against mine again only this time softly and the flutter of butterflies kicked up again. He pulled away and I let out a content sigh.

"Think about it Hayley. I'll see you later," and he let go of my wrist. I left his apartment very dizzy and all I wanted to do was go back there and kiss his face off, but I couldn't do that. We could not go back there. I was with Chad and that was the way it was supposed to be and that was that.

Later that evening...

When I pulled into the parking lot at Chad's and my apartment, he was standing in my space holding a bonquet of roses. Any other girl would have just died of love poisoning right there, but I was crushed because it wasn't Josh. Well I put on a brave face and got out of the car, retrieved the roses, and then i gave Chad a big kiss. No butterflies whatsoever. Just regret. We went upstairs to our place and we ate Chinese food and watched a hilarious movie, but I couldn't bring myself to laugh. Instead i leaned over and started passionalty making out with Chad. I seriously thought that this way was the only way to ease the pain that I felt over Josh. I soon found out later I was wrong.

I'm lying in bed next to Chad and the rain is pouring again mimicking my freshly fallen tears. Chad and I were physical again and the whole time I imagined it was Josh who was touching, whose hands were all over my body. I thought about our first time. The best time of my life even though I was only fourteen.

Flashback to the first time...

"OK. I packed like everything for Florida, but I totally forgot to stock up on sunscreen so do you think your mom can stop off at CVS before she drops us at the airport?" I asked Josh.

"Sure. It really shouldn't be a problem," he said as he plopped a fried Oreo in his mouth. We were on the floor in his bedroom surronded by fried oreos, a bag of cheetos, lots of pepsi, a guitar, some notebooks, and a year's worth of luggage. I was sleeping over the Farro house so his mom could drop us off at the airport tommorow. We were on our way to Orlando to record our first record.

"Cool,  but my God, my wrist is cramping up and I'm seriously tired of revising the songs. Can we do something else?" I asked giving him my best puupy dog face.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked casually staring at his hands. I crawled over and punked myself in his lap. "This..." and with that, we were kissing and somehow we got on the bed. That was probably after we crushed the Cheeto's bag. I began to pull off his shirt when he stopped aprubtly. It couldn't be his parents or sibling. Everyone else went out to dinner and we decided to stay home.

"What's the matter?" I asked fearing rejection.

"Are you sure you want to do this?' he asked me as he lifted part of my shirt to imply.

"If it involves you, I'm always sure," and I leaned down and kissed him. The removing of the clothing was a slow lingering process, but it built temptation and then all of a sudden we were one and his hands didn't feel so cold anymore.

End Flashback

I realized that I needed to see Josh and soon. I rushed out of my bed and dressed quickly. I escaped the apartment without waking Chad and I was driving as fast as the speed limit would let me. When I reached the parking lot, I locked the car and ran inside as fast as I could. I pushed buttons on the elevator in a jumbled array until I was on the fourth floor. I sprinted to number 33 and I banged on the door. A really sleepy Josh opened the door slowly and once i could get through, I jumped on him and wrapped my legs around his waist and began kissing him. He carried me to his bedroom and that flashback wasn't a flashback anymore. It was reality!

>OHHHH!!!!!!! I'm pretty proud of this chapter! What did you guys think? Comments are appreciated!

I couldn't leave you guys hanging so here goes...

AWWW!!! I know not the best!

Hayley's POV:

I walked my way all the way over there to be all sad and lonely and look like I needed him, but instead when he tried to explain I went all mega bitch and now I will NEVER EVER have him. I really was the one who blew it this time. He looked totally hurt so maybe I should calm down and then go try to reason with him and aplogize. Like momma always said, tell people how you really feel and that is what I wanted to do no matter how much is was going to hurt in the end.

I grabbed a latte from Starbucks and sat at my favorite seat by the window. My phone began to buzz.

"Hello," I said into the reciever.

"Hey baby, why did you skip out on me so early this morning?" Chad asked.

"Oh well, I wanted to visit Mrs. Farro and tell her the good news," I said.

"How did she take it?" he asked.

"Well I never really got to tell her because I ran into Josh," I said.

"Oh. So what happened?" he asked.

"I kind of went all bitchy on him because of well, maybe I'm just PMSing," I tried to cover up the fact that it had been to get even with him for breaking my heart.

"You didn't have your period last night?" he said all coyly.

"Yeah well now I do," I said even though I really didn't.

"Still kind of bitchy huh?" he asked.

"Yeah, so leave me alone!" and with that I hung up the phone. I let out a huge sigh. I really wish it had been Josh calling me, but then again he was probably really mad. I should really go see him. He must be home by now so I'll just swing by his apartment. Hopefully he doesn't slam the door in my face because truthfully that was what I would have done if my really mean FRIEND came back after going all balistic on me.

I got in my car and put in my favorite Jimmy Eat World CD and I thought about the day Josh and I split up.

Flashback:

This was going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. For the sake of Paramore, I was going to have to cut off all romantic ties with Josh even though I was still hopelessly in love with him. I found him in the studio's lounge where we were recording RIOT!.

"Hayley, have you seen these awesome photos?" he asked refering to the ones that were plastered all over the walls.

"Yeah, yeah. They're great. Look Josh, we need to talk," I said looking down at the floor.

"Oh, Ok," he said as he sat down on the nearest couch. I kneeled down in front of him, took both of his hands and said...

"It's about time you and I call it quits. You know, for the sake of the band? It's not because I don't love you anymore because I totally still do, but if something ever happens..."

"If you still love me, than why are you doing this?" he asked his eyes starting to glisten with tears. " How do you know that we won't work out?"

"I don't know that for sure. I'm just saying just in case. I will always, always love you and you will surely be my forever friend and when all this sucess dies down, we will for sure resume right here, I promise you that," I said my own tears beginning to flow. I gave him one big hug and a sweet last kiss and then I walked right back into the recording studio.

I didn't know that I was going to break that promise in the future.

End Flashback

What kind of person and friend breaks a promise? A bad one that is. Am I a bad friend? Surely I am. Well I guess I'm going to have to get Josh's opinion. I drove right into the parking lot of his apartment complex and I parked next to his car. I went inside and was greeted by Tony the landlord. Josh's apartment was on the 4th floor, number 33. I knocked and recieved no answer. I tried the doorknob and it was unlocked so I let myself in.

"Josh!" I called. No answer. I heard a TV blaring in his bedroom so I knocked on that door. Once again, no answer. I opened it. Josh was all twisted under the covers and a pill bottle was laying on the floor with pills scattered everywhere. I ran straight over to him and I checked his pulse. I felt nothing.

"J-J-Josh." I couldn't get the words out I was crying so hard. "J-JOSH!," I began shaking him.

"HMM, what?" he said groggigly.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" I screamed. I began hitting him. He grabbed my arms and he sat up. I was in his lap and I couldn't hit him anymore. "You scared me to death!"

"HOW?" he asked trying to restrain me since I started to struggle.

"The pills! How many did you take you idiot?" I cried. He was being so clueless.

"I didn't take any of them!" he shouted.

"BULLSHIT. Why do you have them?" I asked beginning to calm down. OMG!! I'm in his lap.

"OK, I took one or two and they are sleeping pills. I have them because I haven't been sleeping well lately," he said,

"Why?' I asked.

"I don't know. I've been confused and hurt for awhile now. Tabitha broke up with me and now my best friend hates me," he said.

"I don't hate you. I was a real bitch this morning. I could never hate you. I guess hanging out with Chad has made me this way," I replied quitely. So he wasn't mad at me? That was a start. "You aren't mad at me?"

"I was definetley not mad at you. I was mad at myself. That's why I brought the pills in here. I thought you hated me so I prepared to take drastic measures," he replied.

I got a hand free and I slapped him square in the face. "You stupid idiot. You are absolutely insane. I can't believe you were going to kill yourself! Now that makes me mad! So you know what I am mad. In fact I am pis.." A pair of lips came crashing down on mine and they were certainly not my fiance's.

>EEEPPP!!! They finally kissed! Aren't you guys happy? I know I am. Feedback is always great! It keeps me motivated. I think I'm done for tonight, but I'll probably write more tom.

LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

Yeah, I posted today!!!!!

I know it's not Hayley, but isn't it cute? I don't hate Tabitha, but of course she is no Hayley!

Hayley's POV:

"You will?" Chad asked, excitement building in his voice.

"I will," I said sniffling. I wasn't crying tears of joy. I was crying tears of utter sadness.

"That's great. That's amazing! You really just made my day and you didn't even need yours. Now I know how much you love me. I'll be home in a few. We should celebrate!" Chad exclaimed now crying his own tears of joy and with that, I got a dial tone.

If only he knew how much I really didn't love him?

A few hours later:

Rain is hitting the window and Chad is snoring a little too loud. Either way, I'm not sleeping. Chad's way of celebrating was not fun. It consisted of drinking champange and making love. I was so disgusted with myself. My insides all hurt especially my heart. My heart it beats, beats for only you. Well not anymore.

Josh's POV:

Today absolutely sucks. Right after I gave up my dream girl, my girl went and broke up with me. She said my mind was always somewhere else and that she couldn't have a boyfriend that wasn't entirely focused on her. I feel like hiding under my blankets forever. Oh well. I finally got fed up and I went over and grabbed an old photo album Hayley made for me. When I got to the middle, there was a section dedicated to Franklin's annual carnival. That was where Hayley and I had our first kiss.

Flashback:

"First I want to ride the ferris wheel and then I want to ride the really huge rollar coaster!" Hayley shouted as she tugged on my hand.

"Woah, slow down. We've rode like 50 rides and I'm running on empty right now!" I exclaimed.

"OK, let me buy an ice cream cone and then we can ride the ferris wheel," Hayley offered.

I couldn't pass up a free ice cream cone. I mean it's not like we are dating and I have to be a gentleman so I let her buy me a strawberry ice cream cone and then I dragged her on the ferris wheel much to her delight. The ferris wheel was the only ride you could have food or drink on so I was happy because I did not want to scarf down a delicious ice cream cone. While sitting on it, we came to an abrupt stop and my ice cream got smushed into my face.

"Here let me help with that," she said. I thought she was going to pull out a napkin until I felt a pair of warm lips meet my chilled ones. I froze in shock, but after a few seconds I starting kissing back.

"Hayley and Josh sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" shouted my brother Zac from the cart below us.

"Shut up!" I yelled and then we went back to kissing. We were inseprable until the time RIOT! was going to come out. We decided it would be best for the band if we just were friends. Little did we know, we always had feelings for each other.

End Flashback

I screwed up big time and now all I have is this little book of memories she has probably forgotten about. In a few months, she'll be Chad's blushing bride. I looked at the clock after a few hours sitting and pondering about what I was going to do with my life. It read 8:52 in the morning so I decided I would go see my mom at our family restuarant.

I dressed in a hurry and was on my way. It was pretty busy for a Sunday morning, but I guess people aren't feeling churchy today. Mom was busy so she held up fingers to tell me she will be with me in a few.

Hey honey," my mom said sitting in the booth across from me.

"Hey" I replied.

"What's up with you?" she asked.

"Hayley is marrying Chad," I replied.

"Oh. Oh really. How nice. How do you feel about it?" she asked as she grabbed my hand.

"Just great mom. Just great seeing as I blew my chances with her when she asked for my opinion," I told her. She was about to say something when a teenage coworker called her in the kitchen requiring about a broken stove. Another waitress brought me my usual pancakes a few minutes later. The door bells jingled signiling that someone was here. I felt a presence slip themselves into the booth across from me. I looked up and saw a messy looking Hayley. She had sweats and a t-shirt. No make-up except for tear stains and it looked as if she didn't comb her hair. She still looked beautiful though.

"I'm only here to inform you that I took your advice and I'm going to marry Chad," she said icily.

"Hayley I" I started to say.

"Save it," she replied.

"I take back what I said last night. I still love you," I told her honestly.

She looked convinced and crushed. Hope sparked through me. "Yeah well I don't. You had your chance and you didn't take it. I offered myself to you and shoved me away so I'm here to tell you that you are cordially invited to my wedding in January. I hope you can make it. It would be a shame not to have my best FRIEND there.

"Friend?" I said.

"Yeah and that's all you'll ever be." With that she turned on her heel and stalked through the door. Everyone inside the joint was looking at me with a sympathetic look. My mother was shaking her head. She knew I blew it and I knew that I blew it for good. I had to get out of there. I knew where I had to be and it wasn't anywhere on this Earth.

>Yikes! What is he going to to do? If you guys are lucky, I might post another chapter a little later.

With love guys and gals!!!

A liitle Josh and Hayley love for you guys!!!

WHOOO!!! I promised so...

Hayley's POV:

"Chad, I, I," I stuttered. I was at a loss for words and here I was trying to form a complete sentence. Chad looked at me a little heartbroken so I knew I had to make a descion fast. One problem. What is that descion going to be? Well, I think I've got it.

"Chad, I'm going to need some time to think about this," I said not wanting to meet his gaze. I looked down at my Chuck Taylors instead.

"Is that a no?" he said grabbing my chin to force me to look at him.

"No. It is not a no, but it is not a yes," I said honestly.

"Well than, what is it?" he asked.

"It's a maybe. I need a little bit of time to make this descion. I know, give me a day. Can I have one more day to think about this? All I need is one itsy bitsy day to think it over," I said beginning to ramble.

"Alright. You can have your day," he said with a tiny smile.

"THANK YOU!" I shouted as I wrapped my arms around him. "You really are the greatest guy I know." Did I just say that? That for a fact was a complete lie. The greatest guy I know was someone I gave up a long time ago. Then why was he the reason I needed time?

"I'm going to stay and clean-up the rest of the junk from this party. Why don't you go back to the apartment and get some rest since that head of yours has a lot of thinking to do?" he said as he gave me one last hug. Then he got up and walked back to the party site.

I would go home and get some rest after I do the thing that's going to help me make my choice.

Josh's POV:

The movie was a real drag. The whole time I thought of Hayley and the upcoming proposal. My mind was so elsewhere the whole day that Tabitha got fed up and stormed out of the movie theater. I've tried calling her a few times, but no answer. Either way, I'm not going to get any sleep tonight. I heard the doorbell ring so I shout to the person to come in. A few seconds later, Hayley stood under my kitchen's doorframe.

"Hey," she said as if she was really winded or tuckered out.

"Hey," I replied. "What are you doing here so late?" I asked her after glancing at the clock. 2:52 in the morning.

"Something HUGE happened and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it," she said.

It immediatley hit me. He proposed. Wait, she doesn't know what to do about it?

"Chad kind of asked for my hand and marriage," she said after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"And you don't know what to do." It was a statement not a question.

"Right. I sort of wanted your opinion first, you know since your my best friend and all," she shrugged.

"Go for it. Marry the dude. You guys are in love so go make it official," I told her with a sincere look in my eye.

"What?" her voice cracked as she spoke.

"You heard me," I replied getting a little testy.

"Alright then, that settles it then. Thanks," she said as she scrambled out the door.

What did I just do? Damn you Joshua Neil Farro! You had the chance to get the love of your life back and you didn't take it. All because you didn't want to go back to the I love you, but we can't be together stage. You really are a freaking idiot. Oh well, now you can only blame yourself for your loveless life.

Hayley's POV:

I drove home crying. I'm suprised I didn't get into an accident the tears were flowing that bad. When I got in the door, I rushed to the phone. The pain was just too much from Josh's rejection and I needed some closure. I was going to tell Chad no if Josh had've stopped me, but he didn't. He told me to go for it. Josh really is over me. I must have really hurt him. Oh, well the phone is ringing now and it's too late.

"Hello," Chad answered.

"Hi. Look I thought about it and I've made a descion. I will marry you Chad."

>OMG!!!! She is going to marry Chad. How many of you are going to kill me now? Keep in mind though that this is a Joshayley fic so there is hope to come. HEHE!! I kept my promise. Let me know if the chapter was good or bad OK?

LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!

Sorry about the whole not posting yesterday, but I was literally super busy! I know, I know, not a good excuse! Well I'm going to post at least one chapter today! Who's excited about who'll she'll choose? I'm not exactly sure yet, but just know I'm not going to go all Chayley on you guys even though I had a bit of an enlightenment. The story will be Joshayley. I am making Chad nice in the story because I think that's probably how he is in real life no matter how jerkish he sounds in interviews. Well yeah, catch you later and and if i don't post by tonight, tell me how much of a bad blogger I am!!! Thanks for all the support guys and expect some shockers to come!!!

Love Ya,

Lexie

Will they be together? Only time will tell.

Sorry, I'm such a teaser!!!!

Well here we go....

Hayley's POV:

This party is terrible. I am so bored standing here talking to all of Chad's friends. I really wish I could go talk to Josh so I guess I'll just shoot him a look to come and save me before I go insane. Wait, he is sitting in a lawn chair with Tabitha. I like Tabitha. She is really nice, but she isn't for Josh. Well Hayley, if Tabitha isn't for Josh, then who is? ME! PICK ME!! No I will not pick you. You are with Chad. WHAT IF I DON"T WANT TO BE WITH CHAD ANYMORE! Don't say that! You love Chad! KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT!!!

Alright it's official. i've gone insane and now I'm talking to myself. More like arguing. Tabitha is kissing Josh's neck now. WOAH, wait. Why do I care and why do I keep looking over there? I know what I said that night when i told Josh that I was going out with Chad and there is no way I should be going back to the I'm not over you ordeal. We are friends again and that is the way it should be. I will not think about Josh that way unless he speaks up first, but he won't because I hurt him bad that night and he said himself later on that it's better off to be friends than nothing so he will never bring it up again and I don't blame him.

Josh's POV:

Why does Hayley keep looking over here? Oh well, once again, i don't care why. I care about Tabitha as was so decided about 10 minutes ago.

"Joshie, do you want to leave? Maybe we can catch a movie since you look so bored?" Tabitha asked me.

"Yeah a movie sounds good. Let me say good-bye to Hayles first," I said as I lifted Tabitha off of me.

"Hayley!" I called as I walked towards her. "Tabitha and I are going to catch a movie so i'll see you later," I said and waved.

"Oh, ok, bye" she called over her shoulder. Was it just me or did she look crushed.'

Hayley's POV:

I really thought Josh was coming to rescue me. Nope, he's skipping off to the movies with Tabitha. How come I wasn't invited? Wait, why I am I asking myself that? I wasn't invited because it was boyfriend/girlfriend time and I am not his girlfriend unfortunatly. Did I just say that?

The party went on for a few more hours. By the end, it was just me and Chad and the guy who threw the party. I was cleaning up some trash went I felt a kiss on my shoulder.

"Hey baby, can i talk to you?" Chad asked leaning against the table.

"Uh, yeah, sure," I said. OMG was he going to break up with me? Oh please don't do this to me now.

"Here, let's go for a walk," Chad said as he grabbed my hand.

We walked for a few minutes and we stopped by a shallow stream.

"Why don't you sit down on this log?" he said as he pointed to one that had obviously once been part of a tree. I sat down and he kneeled in front of me. He took both of my hands and that's when I noticed that he was on one knee. I figured it out. He was proposing.

"Hayley Nichole Williams, you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and I want you to know that. I love you more than I love anything else in the world and there are not enough wonderful adjectives to describe you in this universe. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" he said with happy glistening in his eyes.

I couldn't comprehend his words. All I saw in my mind was Josh's face and how much I wished this was him!!!

OMG!! What is she going to say! Sorry it's really short, but yeah not too shabby right? Expect another chapter tonight or sometime tommorow. I'm going to be good about posting this week because it's Feb. vacation week at school!!

After writing that chapter, I suddenly got into a mood where I told myself that Chad was kind of cool. I don't think I know what I'm doing, but who knows if I'll regret it later, but Chad is alright and as long as Hayley is happy, I'm happy! Don't worry my fanfic isn't going to take a drastic turn, but Chad shouldn't be hated on as much as he is. Please don't send hate mail to me because I might break this whole thing and have me a good I hate Chad rant with Lauren here on Buzznet. Actually I know I will. We don't know Chad and sometimes I feel bad saying bad things about him so if Chad ever reads this well he's not Josh nor will he ever be, but he is Hayley's bf and i sort of respect that! So Hayley if you are happy with Chad, by all means stay with him!!

Who knows, I'll probably hate him tommorow!

Chapter 5 coming soon!

Well here goes the next chapter!!!!

Josh's POV:

I should be happy. I really should be. I have a great girl in my arms right now. She's a beautiful blonde and she has a great personality, but she's not the right girl. The right girl is clinging to her boyfriend and is laughing hysterically about something that probably isn't that funny. It's been two weeks since that day I saw Hayley in a towel and now my girlfriend Tabitha is on tour with us. I'm really only dating Tabitha to hide the pain. Why can't she just see that I love her and that we will work out. I tried so hard to tell her on the European tour, but she just wouldn't listen...

Flashback:

"Hayley, that was a great show tonight huh?" I said.

"Yeah it really was and you'll never believe what happened after the meet and greet!" she said beginning to jump up and down like a little girl. Oh wait, she kind of is a little girl.

"What could have possibly happened that was better than my rad guitar skills," I said jokingly.

"Oh, haha, but what I was trying to tell you was that Chad mentioned he has feelings for me and he wants to know if I feel the same and truth is, I think I do," she said getting quieter as she spoke.

What? Wait, we totally played this game before. The whole I'm going to pretend to like someone to make you jealous thing. I mean isn't Chad a little old and abstract for her. Wait, why am I jealous? Oh because i love her!

"Are you going to go out with him?" I asked dreading the answer.

"Well we kind of already are and this time I really like someone and I think I can officially say I'm over you," she said with a proud smirk on her face.

My heart began to sink and I was beginning to bubble over with anger. "So you are telling me that you don't feel anything anymore? That Chad is suddenly the love of your life, escpecially when you promised me we would try again later in life when it was time to settle down?"

"Of course I feel something. You are my best friend in the whole wide world and I'll always love you. Probably more than I love anyone else and Josh, things change, but our friendship never will," she said with a sincere look in her eyes.

"I don't care who you go out with, but why Chad? What is so special about him besides the fact that he's older and all cool and stuff. He's a jerk you know," I said not comprhending what was coming out of my mouth.

Tears filled her eyes. "The only jerk here is you! Why do you care what I do? Are you jealous or something? We were over a long time ago. Can't you just get over that?" she replied with a craking voice as tears began to fall and her face became red.

"Yes I'm jealous and do you want to know why? It's because I love you! I"M IN LOVE WITH YOU! I'VE ALWAYS BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!! No, I can not just get over it. What changed your mind? How come you are suddenly over us?" I asked getting angrier.

"I am over it and you should be too. I don't care if you love me, but I love Chad and that's the way it's gonna be, so if i were you, I would GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE! WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE AND I"M SORRY! We both need time to think so we are going to have to cancel the rest of the tour so we can get our priorities straight. The last thing I need is fans up our butts talking shit," she said.

She picked up her phone to call the guys and management as I walked out the door, racing to my hotel room with hot, angry tears flowing down my cheeks.

End Flashback

I never thought they would last this long. We get along now, but it's not the same. She has changed and I have too. I keep telling myself that I love Tabitha and not Hayley but it's not working well. I hate being so depressed because fans are starting to notice. There is one thing though that I should say. Chad isn't too much of a jerk because Hayley seems so happy and I really want her to be happy. I'm going to try to be happy too. Paramore will always be around no matter what happens and that's the way it has to be. Tommorow I'm going to hold my tongue because Chad is proposing. He showed me the ring and it will look great on Hayley. I'm going to be happy for her and Chad. I'm officially moving on! There I said it!

Or am I? Is it just me or did Hayley just shoot me a look of longing? Well I guess we'll find out won't we?

Well that was a cliffhanger huh? What do you guys think? I might write another chapter now so expect one soon!!

I have not posted in like forever! I have to get these creative juices flowing! I'm hoping to get another chapter up today and i think i'll start now! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 
Dump him!!!!!

Date him!!!!

I'm posting a new chapter now!!!!

Did you guys notice I haven't posted in like forever? I'm so sorry! I have just been so busy so heres chapter 3 if you are still interested!!

Hayley POV:

Why do the guys have to be so mean about my toweled body coming out of the bathroom? AHHHH!!! I still swear to god that I saw Josh totally blushing, but then again, maybe it was just hot on the tour bus. I can't believe that even after all this time and all the fights and all the stuff with the band, that deep down I still love him! This is all wrong! I LOVE CHAD!! I REALLY DO! Plus Josh is dating Tabitha and he looks so happy. Why would he ever go back to me?

"Hayley! Hayley! HAYLEY!" yelled a voice from in front of me. I focused on the face. It was my boyfriend Chad. "Are you OK? You look kind of out of it and also your latte is getting cold," Chad told me.

"No, no. I'm completely fine. Thanks for the warning about the latte," I said with one of my famous fake smiles. Chad leaned down to kiss me and I didn't even kiss back. Wow, what was happening to me?

Josh POV:

My phone rang about two minutes ago. Tabitha wanted to know what days Paramore would be around Tenneesee. I told her and she was so excited that it was only two weeks. I was only half excited. Don't get me wrong! I love Tabitha, but sometimes I wish she was Hayley. I know all about the no dating inside the band rules and I know we didn't work out so well last time, but Hayley is like my best friend and I totally have faith in us if we gave it another shot. That will never happen though because I see how much she loves Chad and I have heard Chad talking about getting engaged soon. I really hope she says no. I want to be happy for her, but I just can't. I tried once and that did not work out. We ended up getting into a huge fight and then we had to cancel the European tour.

One thing that eurks me the most is that Chad is totally changing Hayley. The Hayley I once knew has flown the coop. Now there is a new Hayley.The one with tattoos and weird peircings and the one that doesn't want to hang out much. I miss that Hayley! Chad is totally trying to tear us apart, but I don't think he notices it yet because he is a pretty cool guy. He's just not the guy for Hayley. I AM THE GUY FOR HAYLEY, but she'll never know that now.

Sad ending for that chapter. Sorry if it was too short. I will try to write as soon as possible and this time I am not breaking that promise! Maybe I'll write a few more chapters today!

if you dont, dont - music shuffle(i was bored)

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 5 people.
5. Bold the questions and with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

1. How are you feeling today?
So What-Pink-Cool over a break-up that hasn't happened yet?

2. Will you get far in life?
Fall For You-Secondhand Serenade-If I fall in love?

3. How do your friends see you?
Miracle-Paramore-As their miracle HEHE!!!

4. Will you get married?
Damn you look good and I'm drunk(Scandalous)-Cobra Starship- I guess we are avoiding the question?

5. What is your best friend's theme song?
Born for this-Paramore-She can accomplish anything!!
6. What is the story of your life?
Everything We Had-The Academy Is-Hung up over my ex? NO WAY!!!

7. What was high school like?
That's What You Get-Paramore-I guess?
8. How can you get ahead in life?
If I were a boy-Beyonce-By having a sex change? Yeah right!

9. What is the best thing about your friends?
CrushCrushCrush-Paramore-Huh?

10. To describe your grandparents?
Misery Business-Paramore-What?
11. How is your life going?
Guilty Pleasure-Cobra Starship-Now they decide to not make sense!
12. What song will they play at your funeral?
Angie-Cobra Starship-MY NAME IS NOT ANGIE SO THAT WOULD BE MEAN!!

13. How does the world see you?
A Sight To Behold-Eisley-I did not cheat!! I love that answer though!

14. Will you have a happy life?
Gives You Hell-All American Rejects-I'm going to take that as a no?
15. What do your friends really think of you?
Check Yes Juliet-We The Kings-That makes no sense!

16. Do people secretly lust after you?
Let the Flames Begin-Paramore- I'm going to take that as a yes!

17. How can I make myself happy?
I Don't Care-Fall Out Boy-Ok. I'm not a fan of this question or so my IPod seems to think!

18. What should you do with your life?
Lips of An Angel-Hinder-Call my ex?

19. Will you ever have children?
Paper Planes-M.I.A-Avoiding that question?

20. What song would you strip to?
Come Clean-Eisley-What?

21. If a man in a van offered you candy, what would you do?
I Write Sins Not Tragedies-PATD-That doesn't sound positive!

22. What does your mom think of you?
Pressure-Paramore-Makes sense I guess!
23. What is your deep dark secret?
Kiss My Sass-Cobra Starship-I have an attitude problem?

24. What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
Thunder-Boys Like Girls-Weird!

25. What's your personality like?
Womanizer-Britney Spears-Ok. Now I'm a flirt. GREAT!!
26. Which song will be played at your wedding?
The City is at War-Cobra Starship-That would be funny!
27. If you were to become the Dictator of a small Eastern-European nation, would you be a benevolent Dictator?
Conspiracy-Paramore-After that, I don't think so!

28. What are your aspirations?
I Caught Myself-Paramore-To not mess up?

29. What goes through your head when you wake up?
Brighter-Paramore-Kind of a happy thought!

So I did this for the second time because I was bored. i tried to figure some out, but some made absolutely no sense!

TRY IT!!!